


The Things He Left Unsaid

by kjngdom



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Cheating, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, YuYuu, YuuYu, yu2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 09:45:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12166443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjngdom/pseuds/kjngdom
Summary: "They were youngand in lovebut isn't that how a tragedy begins?"-faheys





	The Things He Left Unsaid

They say that sticks and stone may your bones but words will never hurt you. But they were wrong. Words hurt like a bullet to the head, a knife to the heart, the feeling of those hidden fears rising back up again. Sticks and stones are something that you can recover from. Words stay in our minds like they're glued. 

And sometimes words from other people are what make us up, for better or for worse.

Yuuri Katsuki was made of words. Words from other people and from himself. Words that controlled, words that took over. He was nothing without words. And those words  _hurt_. Hurt like someone leaving you, a lost friend, an abandoned lover. He was made up of words, and he accepted it. Without words, where would he even be in life? Certainly not here, skating his days away, trying to forget about his husband who ran off with another man.

Skating used to have  _meaning_ to him. He used to love the feel of his feet hitting the ice, the rush of joy whenever he finished a jump. He loved the way his hair swayed along with him, as if it were skating along with him. But now? Now it meant like Victor meant to him. Nothing.

Yuuri sighed as he fell again on the ice. He was all alone in the rink; it was nearing midnight, and Yuuri was tired. It wasn't the type of tired you get when you stay up late for exams, it wasn't the type of tired you get when you hear something that's been said too many times. No, it was the type of tired when you're sick of everything. It was the type of tired when you can't go on anymore. It was the type of tired where you wanted everything to end.

Yuuri was always that type of tired.

And having Victor run away from him, especially with another man who he was never going to live up to standards with, definitely didn't help him at all. It made it worse.

He wanted to cry, yet he couldn't. He felt empty, he felt like all his tears were used up. His thoughts were a battle. Every breath was a war. And he didn't think he was winning anymore.

He was going to lose this game called "Life" one day.

It wasn't going to be today.

But he knew it would be soon.

Sticks and stones might break your bones. But words break pass through those bones and instead break your heart, your mind, until finally, it breaks  _you_ too.

* * *

 

Yuuri wanted to put Victor's stuff away, but he couldn't. There was a part of him that still loved Victor, even after him running away with a secret lover. And somehow that small part took over everything else. The scent of Victor was still there, as was everything else. His clothes were still there. Makkachin wasn't here anymore, leaving Yuuri all alone.

He sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at their room. Their- no,  _his_ perfect, clean, room. Up on the walls and on the tables were pictures of both of them. Most of them were on their wedding day, the others were fun moments they both had lived together.

Damn it, even though Victor- _fucking_ -Nikiforov left him alone, he still loved him. He had loved him, and Victor had definitely shown his love by running away with another man. He didn't even know him, for Godsakes!

Yuuri stood up and took down all eleven pictures from their room. He didn't want to throw them away, no, but he also didn't want to look at them anymore. He didn't want the reminding that he wasn't good enough for the living legend. Those pictures were a much happier time five years ago.

He walked over to the living room and turned the TV on; he needed something to get his mind off this situation. He channel flipped through them, not any of them catching his interest. All he wanted was something to put background noise in. Living in an empty flat was lonely.

There was always noise in their flat. Sometimes it would be either Yuuri or Victor cooking. Or sometimes it was Makkachin, waiting for someone to play with. At least during the first two years of marriage. 

But mostly it was yelling.

Yuuri hadn't been out in days, not like anyone would notice. There were no text messages asking him where he was. They all knew the situation he was in, and they left him alone. Though, sometimes, he wanted someone to text him and ask him if he was okay, how he was doing. And although his answer was always  _good_ or  _fine_ , he liked to know that people cared enough about him that they would ask him something like that. He missed when his phone would blow up even if he was five minutes late to practice.

Suddenly his phone started ringing. He looked at the I.D.

Yuri was calling him.

For a split second, he was hoping that it would be Victor calling him, saying that all of this was a mistake and that he was  _so , so sorry_ and that he wanted to be back again with Yuuri.

Yuuri answered the call.

"Hey, Katsudon," Yuri greeted. He had a much gentler tone to his voice now, probably from finally maturing enough, or because of hearing about what happened with Victor. Most likely, the latter. "When are you coming back to the rink?" He paused, waiting for an answer.

And then all of a sudden Yuuri broke out sobbing. He couldn't help it. All those days of locked away feelings burst.

"Yurio, I-I can't do any of this anymore. I'm sick of all of this. I'm so sick. I can't handle living another day without Victor! He meant the world to me! And then he j-just suddenly took off with another person!" Yuuri cried. "I can't do any of this anymore. I-I can't."

His long raven hair stuck to his wet face. He couldn't take any of this anymore. 

"I want it to just end," he whispered so softly that Yuri probably couldn't hear him. But he had heard him. He heard all of it. He heard those times he cried. He heard the times when he thought he was a failure. He heard the rants, his secrets, his mistakes. He heard everything. And he wasn't going to let go of Yuuri now, not when he needed him the most.

"Yuuri, be calm, stay still, please don't.  _Please_. I'll be coming right over. Please don't hang up..."

It seemed as if Yuri took forever reaching the flat, though it only took two minutes. He rushed up the stairs to the floor the flat was on and slammed the door open. His eyes landed on the couch where Yuuri sat, knees to his chest, face hidden away between. He rushed over to him and put his arms around him. Yuuri sobbed even louder. "I don't know what to do anymore, Yurio!" he cried out. "Victor's not here anymore, and he didn't even formally say goodbye! All he left was a note and I know that I'm supposed to hate him but  _fucking_ damnit I miss him so much and I don't even know what to d-do!"

Truth be told, Yuri was never good dealing with these types of situations. This never happened to him, and he didn't know how to deal with it. All he could think of doing was petting his back and saying that everything was going to be okay.

"Yuuri, did you ever know that this was happening?" Yuri said.

Yuuri mumbled out a no. 

Yuri sighed. He didn't know how he managed to be deep into their private lives. He didn't even know where Victor went with his runaway boyfriend. And it had seemed like Victor had cut all connections from everyone he knew. Chris, him, everyone! There was no way of knowing where he was and where he was going to.

Damnit, Yuri had missed Victor too.

"Do you want me to stay here for a little bit, Yuuri?" Yuri said.

Yuuri nodded slightly, hands trembling. 

He released his grip on Yuuri and walked back to the still open front door. "Don't worry, I'm just going to get my stuff and stay here for a while. I'll be back in ten minutes."

After Yuri left, Yuuri lied his head down on the arm of the couch. He hugged a pillow. The TV was still going on in front of him, but right now he didn't want to look at anything for a while. He was exhausted from a night full of no sleep. 

* * *

 

Yuri came back from his flat to Yuuri's flat. Katsudon's already asleep on the couch, but he can't blame him. He was tired, both physically and mentally from everything going on his life. He put his suitcase in the other room Katsuki had. Yuri went over to the kitchen and looked inside the fridge for anything to eat. Katsudon had probably not eaten in days. He glanced over at him. His dark hair covered his face. Yuuri's glasses were still on.

He sighed and walked over to him. He took his glasses off and laid them on the coffee table. He swept his long hair away from his face. He was so pure to him, so beautiful. And he shouldn't have been treated like a piece of trash by the side of the road. He grabbed the throw from the end of the couch and laid it on top of Yuuri.

Beautiful things always seemed to be the ones broken in the world. And that included Yuuri.

* * *

 

Yuuri groaned, opening his eyes. Sleeping on the couch was uncomfortable, but it was the most sleep he had gotten in two days; he couldn't complain. He rubbed his eyes.

"Look who's finally awake," Yuri commented, sitting on the chair beside the couch. "Here, I made you something quick to eat. Looks like you haven't eaten in days." He handed him the bowl of borscht. Yuri shrugged. "It's not much, but it was I could make with the food you had in the fla-"

And then suddenly Yuuri's arms were around Yuri's neck. Yuri flinched at the sudden contact.

"Katsudon, what the hell?" he gasped in surprise. Yuri wasn't that used to being hugged. The only real hugs he ever had was from Victor and his now passed away grandpa. Now that he  _really_ thought about it, he never really hugged Katsudon until today.

And he liked the feeling of his arms around him. He liked the scent of his hair as covered his face, smelling of all the things he never knew he wanted in life.

Yuuri cried into Yuri's neck. "H-he had said he loved me, and then he just leaves m-me all alone, while he's away with some other lover I knew nothing about! G-god! I'm s-so useless, just like Victor had said."

Yuri was taken aback by this. Wasn't their relationship stable? Well, before Victor running off? But again, things were never as it seemed.

"What are you talking about, Katsudon?" Yuri asked. "What do you mean Victor called you 'useless?' Was there something going on between each of you?" Yuri wondered how he got into this mess; all he wanted was to spend a day at the rink with Yuuri.

Yuuri stiffened. "No, no, I don't want to talk about it." Yuuri's knees were on the outside of both of Yuri's legs. It was an awkward position, sure, but being in the arms of Yuri made him feel comfortable and safe, somehow. 

Yuri wrapped his arms tighter around Yuuri. "You know, your borscht is going to get cold if you don't eat it soon."

For the first time, Yuuri chuckled a bit. "I know, I know."

Yuuri released his grip on Yuri. He took the bowl of borscht from the coffee table and sat back down on the couch. "Yuri, I never got a chance to say thank you," Yuuri said.

He scoffed. "Thank you for what?"

"You know, everything that you've done for me."

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, this had been sitting in my docs for a few months, I decided to post it now. This might just remain like this, or it could go on, depending if I'm actually motivated enough. 
> 
> Personal thank you to @knownopain !
> 
> This is _also_ posted on my wattpad account, which is [here](https://www.wattpad.com/user/kiingdoms)


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